Downer Della

I thought I'd try the opposite of the norm while posting this ad. Instead of writing mostly positive traits, I wrote mostly negative ones. This was posted on June 22, 2007.

The Ad

The Truth

I don't know what I want. I don't really know who I am or where I'm going. I'm not particularly goal-oriented. I dislike letting myself hope because I fear disappointment. I often feel extremely ordinary. I appear to be emotionally unavailable, but I'm really not. I just don't often express emotion to strangers and acquaintances. I overanalyze everything. I'm materialistic. Drama seems to pursue me, though I dislike drama. I'm often stressed out. I seem to be having bad luck lately. I can be impatient. I'm kind of poor. I should be more assertive. I'm indecisive. I'm not completely original. I can be oversensitive. I can be shallow. I can also be immature.

I know that's not the way to catch your attention, but I don't expect to keep your attention. Personal ads are often about putting yourself in the best (sometimes false, artificial) light. What's the point in building up someone's expectations, only to have them unmet? I'm truthful and I pointed out my flaws, though you may find even more flaws. I know I'm far from perfect.

On the other hand, I'm educated and somewhat intelligent. I'm compassionate. I'm inquisitive. I'm kind and sincere. I don't think I'm completely hideous. I'm not as pessimistic as this post may imply. I'm also laughing as I'm writing all this. Therefore, this was meant to be somewhat tongue-in-cheek and not completely self-deprecating.

I don't know why you would want to reply. However, if you do feel compelled to reply, I'd prefer you to be intelligent, over the age of 21, and under the age of 30.

The Responses

1. I'm tall, 6'3", capable of more than a modicum of passionate appreciation,and I cannot stand cereal for breakfast. I don't ride the bus, and I cancook a helluva sausage & biscuit plate. I'm 27, 28 in a month, and if thatpic is really you, I'll send you one of me.

[I didn't post a pic!]

2. Sweetie
You sound like you're suffering from clinical depression. I know what it sounds like as I have it. Look up MHMR in the phone book and get some free help and meds.
J

[Seriously?]

3. Your post made me think that perhaps, having too much in common with someone, might not necessarily be a good thing. What do I know about compatibility though. What I do know is that apparently, reverse psychology works on me.

4. WOW, very honest post. I think almost all people are like this, but just dont mention it in their ads, you just took a different route :P

[Exactly what I was going for.]

5. It's nice to see somebody not trying to type themselves up and be somebody they aren't. But I do thinkit's best that we know who we are before involvingsomebody else. As another person can influence one'sdecisions and therefore there's a possibility of neverfinding yourself.

6. I think if I were going to make a personal ad that would have to be almost a carbon copy of such a thing!!! I loved it!

7. i think we could help each ohter.i share all the same intrestes you posted i also need a friend or(maby more tham just a friend but thats not y i responeded) to help methrough these times, some one to talk to would do wonders fopr usboth.

8. Your craigslist ad sounds a lot like how I feel. As pathedic as it sounds, I am reading craigslist ads trying to find somebody to talk to, which indicates I'm either 400 pounds or make bad life decisions. I guess I make bad decisions. I'm 24, white. I'm the proud father of two beautiful little girls...

[24 with two kids?! Yikes. I'm 23 and I don't even really like kids, but I like to think that maybe I'll be able to tolerate my own someday far, far into the future.]

9. Hey, I was browsing here on CL, saw your post, made me laugh and wonder if you're always this cynical??wow...

[Yes! This ad was supposed to be funny! Maybe I just have a really weird sense of humor.]

10. You seem to be a bit down on yourself! Or just over critical. I know whatthat's like trust me. Hang in there kiddo.

11. Lets light things on fire.

[Say...what?!]

Lessons Learned

1. Misery loves company. Miserable ads can attract miserable people.

2. Maybe guys like the whole damsel in distress thing?

3. Some people seem to be really supportive. Or maybe they just want to get in my pants.

4. I received more form e-mails and generic e-mails than usual (i.e. nothing but a link to a MySpace page or a request for my MySpace page). I have yet to figure out theories as to why.

5. I'm apparently possibly clinically depressed.