As suggested by a friend (thanks, Anne-Marie!), I wrote an ad from the view of a polyamorous person. However, I didn't want the ad to get flagged, so I tried to make it sound legit. Unfortunately, not a single person who responded seem to catch on that I had written the ad with a hint of satire. This ad did lead me to wondering if cultural norms, religious beliefs, and such were stripped away, would humans naturally desire to mate with many people? Of course, STDs could be more prevalent, but it's interesting to think about. Think about it too much, and polyamory doesn't really sound so crazy. I'm a monogamist myself, though. Anyway, the ad was posted on January 29, 2008. I took it down before it expired so I could feel better about writing this entry.
The Ad
Unique, Independent Mind
I've always believed that the concept of having one true love is absolutely ridiculous. Perhaps I lack some silly romantic notion that so many girls out there have in their minds. I don't believe that a single prince will come and save me from all of my distress in my world of financial audits. I don't believe that there's one soulmate out there for me to wed and live with happily ever after. I don't belive in one person to "complete" me, as I already am a complete person on my own. I don't believe in "the one." Personally, I find it to be a bunch of fairy tale bullshit that we've been fed since we were children. There's no one Eric to my Ariel, Beast to my Belle, Aladdin to my Jasmine.
Basically, I'm never getting married. I'm never going to commit to just you. At any given point in time, there may be others. You may be my only love at one point in time, but I'll always be seeking love. Don't get me wrong; I don't have loose morals and I'm far from promiscuous. I just don't believe in one true love. With all that in mind, I'm a 23-year-old, college educated, independent, financially stable, intelligent, well-read, attractive, insouciant, not-obese woman. I prefer you to be under 35, independent, financially stable, intelligent, not obese, etc.
If my beliefs against monogamy haven't threatened you, then shoot me an e-mail. If you'd simply like to debate polyamory, then shoot me an e-mail and we'll discuss. Let's grab a beer at Gingerman or Opal's or coffee at Bouldin Creek or Flips. I suppose I had to add that last part since I'm supposed to prove that I'm a real person in Austin.
The Responses
1. You are awful young to have such strong beliefs, but then again, the young are passionate without any real foundation. I myself am never getting married, but am curious as to how you came to such conclusions... Parents divorced, lousy boyfriends, all that jazz?
[Does one absolutely have to have emotional baggage in order to have no desire for marriage? I think not. That's a little bit insulting, actually.]
2. You sound smashing. Alas, I am already married. I too felt for the longest time I'd never get hitched; so did my wife, yet here we are. It's not even really a question of monogamy - if extracurriculars are what we need from time to time, we talk about it and proceed from there - but the partnership is pretty handy. Of course, your mileage may vary.
[Very interesting.]
3. i am perfectly fine with polyamory. My ex and I were swingers and what I enjoyed the most was her being with other men. I only ask that you be open about it.
[There's such a big difference between polyamory and swingers! Polyamory means "many loves." Love, people, love. But of course, the word "love" is thrown around much too loosely. But really, romance and all that crap. Swingers aren't quite known to be the biggest romantics out there.]
4. Very much so. Your pretty convincing, maybe I dont believe in true love either? Either way, im bored as hell and stuck making a payroll budget for my cafe. You seem pretty interesting but I am far from a lets get a beer and fuck kinda guy. Check me out either way.
[Being polyamorous in its true sense doesn't exactly automatically make one easy. Read the ad again. Also, I never said I didn't believe in true love. I said I didn't believe in one true love. BIG difference.]
5. Basically you have a good point, and I suppose you like Disney movies. I dunno about the Disney movies though. I haven't seen one in ages. When I was little, my sister and I had the Aladdin video game for sega genesis and it was awesome...So I suppose if you wanna know more email me back and tell me what pomegranate tastes like or if its decent. I was kinda skeptical on getting one before and I don't know what just sparked my interest.
[...?!]
6. Sounds as if we are in a similar situation - and I will wager my sex drive exceeds yours - or if not - what a great match, for both of us....and I would love to find a FWB & BRAINS, and you appear to have all of these qualities based on your post...I tried to send a photo earlier and it was rejected - no, I am not that large, just the file size was too large for CL. I do know how to use what I have, and am also a very oral centric person....enjoy passionate kissing - lots of foreplay, and utilizing my talents to give you a soft butterfly touch, as I really enjoy providing oral pleasure to my lovers......Me - 42, WM, 6 Foot, Athletic Build, Premature Salt and Pepper Hair ( Think Taylor Hicks from last year's American Idol ), Brown Eyes,Non-Smoking, Clean, DD & F, UT Professor. Talk to you soon, and would love to meet my sexual twin
[EWWWWWW!!!!!!!! I don't want that old perv as my professor. Or lover.]
7. Fucking right on! This is something that I've been thinking about a lot lately, and I'd love to discuss (im interested in obtaining a female's perspective).
[I hope there aren't a TON of guys out there whose initial responses were "fucking right on." Maybe romance is dead. Or dying.]
8. I really liked your ad. It was so refreshing to see a woman say that she doesn't believe in that fairy tale bullshit of 'the one'. I gave up on such fantasies long ago. I'm not looking for promiscuity either, but having a woman to spend time with on a somewhat regular basis without having to put up an illusion of forever would be fantastic. I've been in longterm monogamous relationships, and I didn't have a problem being monogamous but something did always feel unnatural about it.
[Something unnatural about monogamous relationships? Not having to put up "an illusion of forever?" I must not judge. I must not judge. I must not judge.]
9 You, my girl, are a challenge. But, you have already fallen into one of many traps that we all have fallen...the trap of the word...never. That word is used far too often, with little respect and in essence, with little care to its meaning. Never implies to an action that will not occur and in our chaotic world where your next hello may be your last, the chances of predicting or not predicting said action are almost nil. That is unless, you are incapable of loving someone enough to marry that person and if that is the case then it is not a case of "never " but a case of "incapable". I pray it is not a case of "incapable", but a case of "finding a man vs finding a boy". That being said, I would truly like to talk to you at some point to get your opinions on a number of subjects. From a purely time based angle, I would say that you are too young for me, however, based on what you have written, I can see that you are older (theoretically speaking) than your carbon-dating. I would say let us meet and have a meeting of the minds.
[What does any of that have to do with anything? Sometimes, intellectuals and aspiring intellectuals are a little too much for me. Seriously. They're so nitpicky about wording, and they take things out of context. And they go off on tangents with irrelevant topics based on the allegedly improper wording. I often find that annoying.]
10. I just wanted to applaud you for actually presenting polyamory in a sane, intelligent manner. I hope you actually can find a guy on CL who isn't a sleaze or a dipshit. And good luck dealing with the penis pictures! = 3
[Haha. That was sent by a girl. Anyway, I unintentionally presented polyamory in a "sane, intelligent manner." Glad it amused some people, though everyone took me seriously. Though surprisingly, I didn't receive a single real penis picture.]
Lessons Learned
1. Lots of people like polyamorous girls. Especially people seeking easy sex and/or commitment-free relationships.
2. Girls, if you're looking for a faithful, committed boyfriend, you'll have to watch out for a lot of those sleazes out there. Some of them are on Craigslist.
3. Many people don't know the differences between polyamory, polygamy, and swinger. There are distinct differences. Polyamory means many loves. Polygamy refers to marrying multiple people. I'm pretty sure swinger refers to multiple sex partners. I received a few responses regarding polygamy, though I'd said I wasn't going to get married.
4. Next time I want to write a satirical ad, I must make it sound more fake.
5. Maybe people really do want what they can't have (in this case, to themselves).
6. Theoretically speaking, I'm older than my carbon dating. Right. Posting illegit CL ads makes me very mature.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Baker Bailey
I went through a week of unemployment in Austin right after the holidays. All I did was go running and bake cookies. I thought I was going to go crazy due to boredom. Therefore, I posted an ad in the Strictly Platonic section. For whatever reason, stupid Craigslisters decided to flag my post after a day or so. I still received quite a few responses, though. Oh yeah, and I've long given up on running a half-marathon. Maybe a 5K. Anyway, the following was posted on January 4, 2008.
The Ad
I'll give you cookies!
I'm looking for people to help relieve me of boredom during my current brief period of unemployment. Unfortunately, my friends are all gainfully employed with their 8-5 or 9-6 jobs. Seriously, I need entertainment. Daytime TV doesn't cut it, especially since I don't have cable. I am limited to The Price is Right, Dr. Phil, and Jerry Springer. I've been spending the rest of my time training for a half-marathon (I guess you could say that's my New Years resolution) and baking cookies. Tons of cookies. Yesterday, my production rate was five dozen toffee expresso chocolate chip cookies. Before those were snickerdoodles. Then chocolate spritzes because I'd just gotten a cookie press. Then spiced sugar cookies. Who knows what I'll make today out of boredom? Vanilla orange cookies? Lemon icebox cookies? Peppermint meringues? I don't eat many cookies because I am, after all, trying to get fit and run a half-marathon. I just like baking cookies. Things might get weird if I keep insisting that my roommate take cookies into work with him. Actually, he'll probably just get annoyed and/or make fun of me profusely. Therefore, if you're an interesting twenty-something interested in cookies and friendship with a 23-year-old, college-educated, semi-intelligent baker, please e-mail me.
The Responses
1. I'm 352 lbs, I like cookies. Cookies are good. I will eat your cookies, and when I'm done I will move on and eat you for dinner too. I will turn you into stew.
[Um, right. That was kind of stupid.]
2. Hi! I saw your ad and I know several people who love cookies and they all work with me. Rather than haveyour roommate take them to work (and annoy him), giveme a call and I'll come by and pick them up and bring them to my office. :)
[You know, if people offered to pay, I'd totally start my own cookie business.]
3. I bet you have not got this offer yet but i will hook up your cable, but you have to live in apartment. should make your day a little more interesting.
[Really?! Random!]
4. I have no idea why im answering this, but you want to give people cookies? you need friends, huh? do you have myspace dear?
[I have friends. I believe I mentioned that they have full-time jobs.]
5. Nice CL post. Far be it for me to pass up an offer for free cookies and a cool new friend! I know what it's like having daytime boredom, I was unemployed this time last year. Thankfully I had the assistance of a little Guitar Hero to get me through all the bad episodes of Jerry Springer and "Judge something-or-other".
[If only I'd had Guitar Hero to get me through my boredom!!]
6. I've always wanted to be a cookie connoisseur like you sound to be. My problem is that I like chocolate chip way too much. I'm scared to try anything different. Show me the light, please. My roommate's idea of changing things up is bringing home sugar cookies. Ugh, those things are disgusting!
[I will be happy to turn anyone cool into a cookie connoisseur.]
7. I was think to myself what am I missing in my life and the resounding answer was cookies. Sadly I'm employed but you can never have too many friends or too many cookies.
[Very true. You can never have too many friends or too many cookies! Especially cookies that freeze well. Friends, too. Might as well test out cryopreservation technology on them if they die on you.]
Lessons Learned
1. Lots of people love cookies, but not everyone. Cookie haters flag cookie posts.
2. Getting to a man's heart by way of his stomach could work.
3. Platonic ads receive less responses than many Women Seeking Men ads. I knew that already, though.
4. Want pirated cable TV service? People on Craigslist can help you with that.
The Ad
I'll give you cookies!
I'm looking for people to help relieve me of boredom during my current brief period of unemployment. Unfortunately, my friends are all gainfully employed with their 8-5 or 9-6 jobs. Seriously, I need entertainment. Daytime TV doesn't cut it, especially since I don't have cable. I am limited to The Price is Right, Dr. Phil, and Jerry Springer. I've been spending the rest of my time training for a half-marathon (I guess you could say that's my New Years resolution) and baking cookies. Tons of cookies. Yesterday, my production rate was five dozen toffee expresso chocolate chip cookies. Before those were snickerdoodles. Then chocolate spritzes because I'd just gotten a cookie press. Then spiced sugar cookies. Who knows what I'll make today out of boredom? Vanilla orange cookies? Lemon icebox cookies? Peppermint meringues? I don't eat many cookies because I am, after all, trying to get fit and run a half-marathon. I just like baking cookies. Things might get weird if I keep insisting that my roommate take cookies into work with him. Actually, he'll probably just get annoyed and/or make fun of me profusely. Therefore, if you're an interesting twenty-something interested in cookies and friendship with a 23-year-old, college-educated, semi-intelligent baker, please e-mail me.
The Responses
1. I'm 352 lbs, I like cookies. Cookies are good. I will eat your cookies, and when I'm done I will move on and eat you for dinner too. I will turn you into stew.
[Um, right. That was kind of stupid.]
2. Hi! I saw your ad and I know several people who love cookies and they all work with me. Rather than haveyour roommate take them to work (and annoy him), giveme a call and I'll come by and pick them up and bring them to my office. :)
[You know, if people offered to pay, I'd totally start my own cookie business.]
3. I bet you have not got this offer yet but i will hook up your cable, but you have to live in apartment. should make your day a little more interesting.
[Really?! Random!]
4. I have no idea why im answering this, but you want to give people cookies? you need friends, huh? do you have myspace dear?
[I have friends. I believe I mentioned that they have full-time jobs.]
5. Nice CL post. Far be it for me to pass up an offer for free cookies and a cool new friend! I know what it's like having daytime boredom, I was unemployed this time last year. Thankfully I had the assistance of a little Guitar Hero to get me through all the bad episodes of Jerry Springer and "Judge something-or-other".
[If only I'd had Guitar Hero to get me through my boredom!!]
6. I've always wanted to be a cookie connoisseur like you sound to be. My problem is that I like chocolate chip way too much. I'm scared to try anything different. Show me the light, please. My roommate's idea of changing things up is bringing home sugar cookies. Ugh, those things are disgusting!
[I will be happy to turn anyone cool into a cookie connoisseur.]
7. I was think to myself what am I missing in my life and the resounding answer was cookies. Sadly I'm employed but you can never have too many friends or too many cookies.
[Very true. You can never have too many friends or too many cookies! Especially cookies that freeze well. Friends, too. Might as well test out cryopreservation technology on them if they die on you.]
Lessons Learned
1. Lots of people love cookies, but not everyone. Cookie haters flag cookie posts.
2. Getting to a man's heart by way of his stomach could work.
3. Platonic ads receive less responses than many Women Seeking Men ads. I knew that already, though.
4. Want pirated cable TV service? People on Craigslist can help you with that.
Friday, January 4, 2008
Dorky Delores
I meant to post this entry a while back, but the HTML got messed up. It's still not perfect, but it's good enough.
I received a lot of positive responses for the following ad. Oddly enough, the ad also seemed to attract a ton of older (over 35) men. Posted November 24, 2007.
The Ad
High risks can equal high returns, right?
I'm risking meeting creeps and weirdos by posting an ad. Anyway, I'm a Yankee by birth, a Texan by choice. I was the high school dork who turned semi-cool (though coolness is subjective) in college, though I still embrace part of my dorkiness (and have managed to learn how to wash my hair, dress in better clothes, and choose glasses that don't cover half my face). I read a lot, and I bake really good cookies. I like having a good time, whether that involves playing miniature golf at Peter Pan's, debating whether a coconut is a fruit or a nut at a coffee shop, cheering on my alma mater's football team at Ringers, dressing up and going to an art gallery opening, or drinking beer at the diviest bar I can find.
As for what I'm looking for, please be part of F in the below chart that I just made. Intelligence, humor, education, and under the age of 30 are positives.
I received a lot of positive responses for the following ad. Oddly enough, the ad also seemed to attract a ton of older (over 35) men. Posted November 24, 2007.
The Ad
High risks can equal high returns, right?
I'm risking meeting creeps and weirdos by posting an ad. Anyway, I'm a Yankee by birth, a Texan by choice. I was the high school dork who turned semi-cool (though coolness is subjective) in college, though I still embrace part of my dorkiness (and have managed to learn how to wash my hair, dress in better clothes, and choose glasses that don't cover half my face). I read a lot, and I bake really good cookies. I like having a good time, whether that involves playing miniature golf at Peter Pan's, debating whether a coconut is a fruit or a nut at a coffee shop, cheering on my alma mater's football team at Ringers, dressing up and going to an art gallery opening, or drinking beer at the diviest bar I can find.
As for what I'm looking for, please be part of F in the below chart that I just made. Intelligence, humor, education, and under the age of 30 are positives.
The Responses
1. did you free hand that? daaaaaaaang... i'm 39.. 5'11.athletic/average build. fun... sweet, bright. alone in my new apartment... i should put sheets on my bed at some point... huh?
[As if the fact that the guy's 39 isn't bad enough, he doesn't have sheets on his bed. Bad, bad sign.]
2. thats some hell of a chart, well i might fit into more or less a few catagories, but i'm not a creep and thats a plus isn't it? i am 34 though, but not in an old way. i act 12 if thats appealing in any way... lol
[What's with all these old guys who like to mention they they neither look nor act their age? Is that supposed to be a good thing? Isn't every girl's dream an older man who acts like a pre-teen?]
3. I am 34...and I read your ad and was hoping you would be close to myage or open to the idea of a guy who is 34. Funny thing is that yousound like the kind of girl I was always interested in while in high school. The damnedest thing about that is that I was the dorky, nerdy kid that no one wanted to be seen with. Gotta love it. Cookie baker....sigh.. what are we to do? I am stuck at 34 and feel like I am25. Age is a real bitch and, alas, time stands still for no one. I do take exception to the grouping of guys in their 30s with pervs thatyou had listed on your chart...but it was still funny. I should warn you, men that you had in the F section that you label as eligible may seem like it but just be careful with your heart. Peace and good luckto you and thanks for the smile....
[Sincere. I'll give him that. *Sigh* No guys were EVER interested in me in high school, either. But once again, older guy who wants to appear younger.]
4. The Visual Aid was FANTASTIC...
LOL
!!!
:)
&
LOL
!!!
:)
&
:)x2
[I thought the diagram was good, too.]
5. Hi, I don't think we'd make a great match, but I want you to know that your Ven Diagram was hilarious. Hard to read, but hilarious.
[Aw, for real? We're not a match? I'm heartbroken.]
6. The chances of meeting a man from the F category are REALLY low! Yet, you try anyway. I applaud your optimism, in fact, I like it considering I am myself an optimist. For guys who write these, within the F-category, the chances of finding a real woman worth meeting are even lower. So, let just say we're both out on a limb here, so why not keep each other company.
[And here I thought there were tons of other eligible fish in the sea. Darn.]
7. Your loos don't appeal to me. Why are you so shallow that you cannot post a pictuyre of yourself.
[Seriously? Me? Shallow for not attaching a picture of myself to a personal ad for the whole world to see?]
8. So i saw your chart and i started laughing for about thirty seconds, which believe it or not is a heck of a long time to laugh. i thought it was hilarious, so i figured you deserved the credit for creating such a masterpiece.
[Yay for appreciation!]
9. my turn
A: girls on craigslist
B: have a kid(s)
C: multiple divorces
D: old enough to be my mother
E: dropped out of highschool
F: no integrity
Y: ou?
A: girls on craigslist
B: have a kid(s)
C: multiple divorces
D: old enough to be my mother
E: dropped out of highschool
F: no integrity
Y: ou?
[Guess guys can have it tough, too.]
10. I haven't seen a chart like that in YEARS, and you used it so hilariously. It almost seems official, yet not. Good job!
[That's exactly what I was going for!]
11. On your chart there should be an H within the F labeled "Totally Awesome Eligible Man," otherwise I would just blend in with all the other Fs.
[Ha, that's kind of funny in a sort of cute way.]
12. i loved your ad. i laughed a little piggy snort at your graph, partly because you took the time to make a graph and partly because its eerily accurate. i think if nothing else we would get along famously.
[The guy's young and cute, but unfortunately, divorced and has a kid. I'm not ready for any of that.]
13. love the chart! I'm certainly an "F", but I'm afraid I'm also a "C" dammit...(I'm 45),guess that knocks me out... You're way too clever to be a dork anyway.....best wishes in your search.
p.s. Although, who knew a dork was really a whale penis? Would be kind of cool to be packing a whale penis, but not very practical. (unless you were trying to pick up girl whales)
[I thought this was hilarious. But 45?! I don't want to date anyone old enough to be my father!]
14. how old are you ( i am 28)and what web site are you going to try to have me sign up at
[Some of these people are so wary about spammers. Probably with good reason, though.]
15. are you in finance?
[Nope. Couldn't handle all of the boring present and future value calculations.]
16. Oh man, I love the chart. You should try posting as a male, it's a totally different chart, at least for me. Maybe like, 66% spam and then 33% alright girls. (of the alright girls, half you want to follow-up with, the other half, no way). But no weird pix, no really mismatched ages, etc.. Thing is, I'd only get like 3 e-mails for every CL m4w I posted. So a 50-50 chance I'll have someone I can actually respond back to.
[I think I average at least 50 responses per post. Most of the time, I seem to get around 70-80. It's mostly quantity rather than quality, though.]
17. High risk can be mitigated by multiple low risk, steady return ventures to maintain portfolio stability until the desired high risk return opportunity is realized.Of course, that particular analogy does not bode well when applied to relationships
[Right. Yay for people dorkier than I, though!]
18. lmfao...that was a very clever chart. i normally go after older women, but if you are that smart (plus i dig glasses) i figure there is a good chance that we will get along. its hard to find real ppl through CL, mainly because there a lots of spammers that flag real ppl so their spam adds get more hits. i usually just read the adds for a good laugh, but the inclusion you ungenious chart made me want to know more about your cynical side ;-) so i figured i'd see if you are real.
[I may be "ungenious," but I definitely don't have the maturity of an older woman. I'm real, though.]
19. Liked the post. The Venn Diagram was pretty spot-on, I'd say. I bet you still got a couple cock-pics out of spite though, huh?
The coconut dilemma: I'm leaning towards fruit, but I could be swayed with the right arguments I suppose. Maybe I'm a coconut agnostic. Make me a believer.
[Surprisingly, no bad pics this time around.]
20. I read your ad and got a pretty good kick out of it. It is awesomethat you are able to be a little more creative than a lot of those chics, and I can only wonder why you haven't managed to land anyone yet.
[I wonder the same thing sometimes. :( ]
21. Venn diagrams are hot.
I'm definitely in G ^ !(A U E U B U C U D U G), and I hope I'm in F.
I'm definitely in G ^ !(A U E U B U C U D U G), and I hope I'm in F.
[Guys who knew that was a Venn diagram are hot!]
22. I'm 24, 5'9", 185, originally from Boston, ended up in Austin for worka bit ago. Your CL ad was pretty well-rounded: honest, a bit goofy,and with a healthy dose of paranoia. If you are still looking to meetnew people, let me know.
[Haha, I have a "healthy dose of paranoia." I like that.]
23. Love the diagram. Hilarious. I don't normally do the whole blind email thing very well, but for that I'll make the effort. I'll even assume you're not a bot. Hopefully I won't get lost among the creeps and weirdos who respond anyway...I remain very much a geek, though I'm also shifting in style and glasses/face ratio. It's very exciting.
[Cute.]
24. I saw you on craigslist. a coconut is an ice cream cone flavor at Amy's
[Haha. I want Amy's ice-cream now.]
Lessons Learned
1. Many older men haven't come to terms with their ages.
2. Dorky ads attract dorky people.
3. Older men seem to appreciate women who appear to be intelligent. But what about younger men? Are twenty-something men still looking for blonde hair and big boobs?
4. I have a "healthy dose of paranoia."
Friday, December 14, 2007
Downer Della
I thought I'd try the opposite of the norm while posting this ad. Instead of writing mostly positive traits, I wrote mostly negative ones. This was posted on June 22, 2007.
The Ad
The Truth
I don't know what I want. I don't really know who I am or where I'm going. I'm not particularly goal-oriented. I dislike letting myself hope because I fear disappointment. I often feel extremely ordinary. I appear to be emotionally unavailable, but I'm really not. I just don't often express emotion to strangers and acquaintances. I overanalyze everything. I'm materialistic. Drama seems to pursue me, though I dislike drama. I'm often stressed out. I seem to be having bad luck lately. I can be impatient. I'm kind of poor. I should be more assertive. I'm indecisive. I'm not completely original. I can be oversensitive. I can be shallow. I can also be immature.
I know that's not the way to catch your attention, but I don't expect to keep your attention. Personal ads are often about putting yourself in the best (sometimes false, artificial) light. What's the point in building up someone's expectations, only to have them unmet? I'm truthful and I pointed out my flaws, though you may find even more flaws. I know I'm far from perfect.
On the other hand, I'm educated and somewhat intelligent. I'm compassionate. I'm inquisitive. I'm kind and sincere. I don't think I'm completely hideous. I'm not as pessimistic as this post may imply. I'm also laughing as I'm writing all this. Therefore, this was meant to be somewhat tongue-in-cheek and not completely self-deprecating.
I don't know why you would want to reply. However, if you do feel compelled to reply, I'd prefer you to be intelligent, over the age of 21, and under the age of 30.
The Responses
1. I'm tall, 6'3", capable of more than a modicum of passionate appreciation,and I cannot stand cereal for breakfast. I don't ride the bus, and I cancook a helluva sausage & biscuit plate. I'm 27, 28 in a month, and if thatpic is really you, I'll send you one of me.
[I didn't post a pic!]
2. Sweetie
You sound like you're suffering from clinical depression. I know what it sounds like as I have it. Look up MHMR in the phone book and get some free help and meds.
J
[Seriously?]
3. Your post made me think that perhaps, having too much in common with someone, might not necessarily be a good thing. What do I know about compatibility though. What I do know is that apparently, reverse psychology works on me.
4. WOW, very honest post. I think almost all people are like this, but just dont mention it in their ads, you just took a different route :P
[Exactly what I was going for.]
5. It's nice to see somebody not trying to type themselves up and be somebody they aren't. But I do thinkit's best that we know who we are before involvingsomebody else. As another person can influence one'sdecisions and therefore there's a possibility of neverfinding yourself.
6. I think if I were going to make a personal ad that would have to be almost a carbon copy of such a thing!!! I loved it!
7. i think we could help each ohter.i share all the same intrestes you posted i also need a friend or(maby more tham just a friend but thats not y i responeded) to help methrough these times, some one to talk to would do wonders fopr usboth.
8. Your craigslist ad sounds a lot like how I feel. As pathedic as it sounds, I am reading craigslist ads trying to find somebody to talk to, which indicates I'm either 400 pounds or make bad life decisions. I guess I make bad decisions. I'm 24, white. I'm the proud father of two beautiful little girls...
[24 with two kids?! Yikes. I'm 23 and I don't even really like kids, but I like to think that maybe I'll be able to tolerate my own someday far, far into the future.]
9. Hey, I was browsing here on CL, saw your post, made me laugh and wonder if you're always this cynical??wow...
[Yes! This ad was supposed to be funny! Maybe I just have a really weird sense of humor.]
10. You seem to be a bit down on yourself! Or just over critical. I know whatthat's like trust me. Hang in there kiddo.
11. Lets light things on fire.
[Say...what?!]
Lessons Learned
1. Misery loves company. Miserable ads can attract miserable people.
2. Maybe guys like the whole damsel in distress thing?
3. Some people seem to be really supportive. Or maybe they just want to get in my pants.
4. I received more form e-mails and generic e-mails than usual (i.e. nothing but a link to a MySpace page or a request for my MySpace page). I have yet to figure out theories as to why.
5. I'm apparently possibly clinically depressed.
The Ad
The Truth
I don't know what I want. I don't really know who I am or where I'm going. I'm not particularly goal-oriented. I dislike letting myself hope because I fear disappointment. I often feel extremely ordinary. I appear to be emotionally unavailable, but I'm really not. I just don't often express emotion to strangers and acquaintances. I overanalyze everything. I'm materialistic. Drama seems to pursue me, though I dislike drama. I'm often stressed out. I seem to be having bad luck lately. I can be impatient. I'm kind of poor. I should be more assertive. I'm indecisive. I'm not completely original. I can be oversensitive. I can be shallow. I can also be immature.
I know that's not the way to catch your attention, but I don't expect to keep your attention. Personal ads are often about putting yourself in the best (sometimes false, artificial) light. What's the point in building up someone's expectations, only to have them unmet? I'm truthful and I pointed out my flaws, though you may find even more flaws. I know I'm far from perfect.
On the other hand, I'm educated and somewhat intelligent. I'm compassionate. I'm inquisitive. I'm kind and sincere. I don't think I'm completely hideous. I'm not as pessimistic as this post may imply. I'm also laughing as I'm writing all this. Therefore, this was meant to be somewhat tongue-in-cheek and not completely self-deprecating.
I don't know why you would want to reply. However, if you do feel compelled to reply, I'd prefer you to be intelligent, over the age of 21, and under the age of 30.
The Responses
1. I'm tall, 6'3", capable of more than a modicum of passionate appreciation,and I cannot stand cereal for breakfast. I don't ride the bus, and I cancook a helluva sausage & biscuit plate. I'm 27, 28 in a month, and if thatpic is really you, I'll send you one of me.
[I didn't post a pic!]
2. Sweetie
You sound like you're suffering from clinical depression. I know what it sounds like as I have it. Look up MHMR in the phone book and get some free help and meds.
J
[Seriously?]
3. Your post made me think that perhaps, having too much in common with someone, might not necessarily be a good thing. What do I know about compatibility though. What I do know is that apparently, reverse psychology works on me.
4. WOW, very honest post. I think almost all people are like this, but just dont mention it in their ads, you just took a different route :P
[Exactly what I was going for.]
5. It's nice to see somebody not trying to type themselves up and be somebody they aren't. But I do thinkit's best that we know who we are before involvingsomebody else. As another person can influence one'sdecisions and therefore there's a possibility of neverfinding yourself.
6. I think if I were going to make a personal ad that would have to be almost a carbon copy of such a thing!!! I loved it!
7. i think we could help each ohter.i share all the same intrestes you posted i also need a friend or(maby more tham just a friend but thats not y i responeded) to help methrough these times, some one to talk to would do wonders fopr usboth.
8. Your craigslist ad sounds a lot like how I feel. As pathedic as it sounds, I am reading craigslist ads trying to find somebody to talk to, which indicates I'm either 400 pounds or make bad life decisions. I guess I make bad decisions. I'm 24, white. I'm the proud father of two beautiful little girls...
[24 with two kids?! Yikes. I'm 23 and I don't even really like kids, but I like to think that maybe I'll be able to tolerate my own someday far, far into the future.]
9. Hey, I was browsing here on CL, saw your post, made me laugh and wonder if you're always this cynical??wow...
[Yes! This ad was supposed to be funny! Maybe I just have a really weird sense of humor.]
10. You seem to be a bit down on yourself! Or just over critical. I know whatthat's like trust me. Hang in there kiddo.
11. Lets light things on fire.
[Say...what?!]
Lessons Learned
1. Misery loves company. Miserable ads can attract miserable people.
2. Maybe guys like the whole damsel in distress thing?
3. Some people seem to be really supportive. Or maybe they just want to get in my pants.
4. I received more form e-mails and generic e-mails than usual (i.e. nothing but a link to a MySpace page or a request for my MySpace page). I have yet to figure out theories as to why.
5. I'm apparently possibly clinically depressed.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Free-Spirited Francine
I think most of us have a little bit of a free spirit in us. I decided to exaggerate my own free-spirited side a bit by writing the following ad, posted June 23, 2007. It's interesting to see what type of guys answer what type of ads and which guys reply to every single ad (some with the same form e-mail).
The Ad
Around the World in a Lifetime
Honestly, I don’t want anyone or anything too serious. If you’re all about getting married within the next five years, I’m not the girl for you. I’m nowhere near ready to settle down and get married. I don’t even want to consider having kids until at least ten years from now. I want to experience more of life before having to devote my own to some little creature. Yeah, I definitely have absolutely no desire for any of that unappealing nonsense right now. I want to see the pyramids along the Nile, watch the sunrise from a tropic isle, fly the ocean in a silver plane, see the jungle when it’s wet with rain, and whatever else is mentioned in that old song. I want some time to screw up my own life (and learn important lessons in the process, of course) before having to be responsible for others’ lives. I feel far from grown up, and I’m in no hurry to be a boring adult. In fact, I’m already sick of being an adult and having to take care of bills, insurance, car payments, student loan payments, and all that tedious stuff. If I weren’t so damn practical and fearful, I’d take off for Europe or Australia or some other English-speaking country for a couple of years with limited possessions and cash.
So why am I writing this ad, you wonder. I really like having a special someone with whom I feel I can connect. I’d like that special friend who tries to “get” me (he may never completely reach that point, but I hope he never wants to stop trying). I’d like someone who understands that I have a lot of maturing to do and who can mature with me. But who knows? Maybe we’ll never really mature, but we’ll just be ready to settle down someday. I want someone intelligent, educated, fun, spontaneous, athletic, and probably between the ages of 23 and 26. I want someone to converse about books, poetry, and/or philosophy with me while sitting at a café in France. I want someone to trek through the Amazon rainforest with me while discussing the new trend of being eco-savvy. I want someone to follow the ancient Silk Road in China with me while pondering the pros and cons of globalization and industrialization. I want someone to attend the next World Cup in South Africa with me and comment on how amazing it is that we’re sharing this exact event in this exact moment with people of all race, religion, socioeconomic status, etc. all around the world. I want someone to sit with me and people-watch on all corners of Earth (including Austin; this place is great for people-watching) until we’re old, wrinkly, cranky, and gray. Maybe you’ll just be a good friend. Maybe you’ll be more. We’ll see. We have 3/4 of a lifetime ahead of us to figure everything out.
The Responses
Due to the nature of the ad, the responses were a bit more serious. Many are too long and in depth to paste onto this blog, so I'll include bits and pieces of some of the better ones.
1. Hmm, so you don't want anything serious, but you do want to spend the rest of your life traveling with me? So what counts as serious?
I am pretty picky, so I can't say for sure I'll like you, but you definitely have potential.
[Seriously? This is not the best way to get a girl's attention. "You might not be good enough for me, but you have potential."]
2. that was a crazy rant, but i love where your head is at ; )
[That wasn't really a rant...]
3. ...And yeah, the idea of kids or anything like that any time in the near future is a very scary thought...I recently hung out around a friend of mine and her husband and her baby who is not quite 1 year old yet...I accidentally taught the kid to say "hand grenade"....so...yeah...now is not the time I need to be thinking kids..lol.
[Random, but kind of cute.]
4. Wow. I should really move to Austin. I was just perusing some different CL sites for various cities and stumbled on to your ad. Can I just copy and paste this on to the Minneapolis forum and claim it's my own...Good luck to you. You've partially redeemed Bush's home state.
[Good thing I'm not a staunch Republican.]
5. One of the things about growing up is realizing you probably won't get to do all of the things you 've dreamed about. Your travel itineraries seem very romantic and ideal but do you know which are likely to happen...This sentence in your post was funny: "I'd take off for Europe or Australia or some other English-speaking country"Europe is not an english-speaking country.
[Gee, thanks. FYI, I've already done many things I've wanted to do. Also, Europe isn't a country. It's a continent. Poor wording on my part, but I meant Europe, Australia, and Other to be three separate entities.]
6. That's an interesting post. Well-written to be sure, and thought-full and provoking as well. It's nice to hear girls in Texas actually want to get out and experience something of a life outside of Texas.
[I hope he didn't assume that I'm originally from Texas.]
7. I'm ***, 34, English, newly arrived in Austin after seven years in theBahamas, Jamaica and Malawi, never married, no kids, living downtown,working for a consulting firm, income 100+, looking for someone to sharelife and adventures.
[Nice form e-mail. People who state their income do not get a response. Neither do most people in their thirties and up.]
8. Growing up is cruel huh? Screw it, you're right, there's plenty of time to pay for our "stuff" all through out our lives. Let's live it first.
[Right on!]
9. Great googly moogly, that is the best post I have ever read on here. I posted something similar today, in fact, if you want to read more about me...
[Thanks!]
Lessons Learned
Hmm, this one was tough. I suppose I already knew that a lot of other people out there want to travel. I guess I learned that there are lots of people out there who can identify with me. Also, the cute guys never respond back after I e-mail them.
The Ad
Around the World in a Lifetime
Honestly, I don’t want anyone or anything too serious. If you’re all about getting married within the next five years, I’m not the girl for you. I’m nowhere near ready to settle down and get married. I don’t even want to consider having kids until at least ten years from now. I want to experience more of life before having to devote my own to some little creature. Yeah, I definitely have absolutely no desire for any of that unappealing nonsense right now. I want to see the pyramids along the Nile, watch the sunrise from a tropic isle, fly the ocean in a silver plane, see the jungle when it’s wet with rain, and whatever else is mentioned in that old song. I want some time to screw up my own life (and learn important lessons in the process, of course) before having to be responsible for others’ lives. I feel far from grown up, and I’m in no hurry to be a boring adult. In fact, I’m already sick of being an adult and having to take care of bills, insurance, car payments, student loan payments, and all that tedious stuff. If I weren’t so damn practical and fearful, I’d take off for Europe or Australia or some other English-speaking country for a couple of years with limited possessions and cash.
So why am I writing this ad, you wonder. I really like having a special someone with whom I feel I can connect. I’d like that special friend who tries to “get” me (he may never completely reach that point, but I hope he never wants to stop trying). I’d like someone who understands that I have a lot of maturing to do and who can mature with me. But who knows? Maybe we’ll never really mature, but we’ll just be ready to settle down someday. I want someone intelligent, educated, fun, spontaneous, athletic, and probably between the ages of 23 and 26. I want someone to converse about books, poetry, and/or philosophy with me while sitting at a café in France. I want someone to trek through the Amazon rainforest with me while discussing the new trend of being eco-savvy. I want someone to follow the ancient Silk Road in China with me while pondering the pros and cons of globalization and industrialization. I want someone to attend the next World Cup in South Africa with me and comment on how amazing it is that we’re sharing this exact event in this exact moment with people of all race, religion, socioeconomic status, etc. all around the world. I want someone to sit with me and people-watch on all corners of Earth (including Austin; this place is great for people-watching) until we’re old, wrinkly, cranky, and gray. Maybe you’ll just be a good friend. Maybe you’ll be more. We’ll see. We have 3/4 of a lifetime ahead of us to figure everything out.
The Responses
Due to the nature of the ad, the responses were a bit more serious. Many are too long and in depth to paste onto this blog, so I'll include bits and pieces of some of the better ones.
1. Hmm, so you don't want anything serious, but you do want to spend the rest of your life traveling with me? So what counts as serious?
I am pretty picky, so I can't say for sure I'll like you, but you definitely have potential.
[Seriously? This is not the best way to get a girl's attention. "You might not be good enough for me, but you have potential."]
2. that was a crazy rant, but i love where your head is at ; )
[That wasn't really a rant...]
3. ...And yeah, the idea of kids or anything like that any time in the near future is a very scary thought...I recently hung out around a friend of mine and her husband and her baby who is not quite 1 year old yet...I accidentally taught the kid to say "hand grenade"....so...yeah...now is not the time I need to be thinking kids..lol.
[Random, but kind of cute.]
4. Wow. I should really move to Austin. I was just perusing some different CL sites for various cities and stumbled on to your ad. Can I just copy and paste this on to the Minneapolis forum and claim it's my own...Good luck to you. You've partially redeemed Bush's home state.
[Good thing I'm not a staunch Republican.]
5. One of the things about growing up is realizing you probably won't get to do all of the things you 've dreamed about. Your travel itineraries seem very romantic and ideal but do you know which are likely to happen...This sentence in your post was funny: "I'd take off for Europe or Australia or some other English-speaking country"Europe is not an english-speaking country.
[Gee, thanks. FYI, I've already done many things I've wanted to do. Also, Europe isn't a country. It's a continent. Poor wording on my part, but I meant Europe, Australia, and Other to be three separate entities.]
6. That's an interesting post. Well-written to be sure, and thought-full and provoking as well. It's nice to hear girls in Texas actually want to get out and experience something of a life outside of Texas.
[I hope he didn't assume that I'm originally from Texas.]
7. I'm ***, 34, English, newly arrived in Austin after seven years in theBahamas, Jamaica and Malawi, never married, no kids, living downtown,working for a consulting firm, income 100+, looking for someone to sharelife and adventures.
[Nice form e-mail. People who state their income do not get a response. Neither do most people in their thirties and up.]
8. Growing up is cruel huh? Screw it, you're right, there's plenty of time to pay for our "stuff" all through out our lives. Let's live it first.
[Right on!]
9. Great googly moogly, that is the best post I have ever read on here. I posted something similar today, in fact, if you want to read more about me...
[Thanks!]
Lessons Learned
Hmm, this one was tough. I suppose I already knew that a lot of other people out there want to travel. I guess I learned that there are lots of people out there who can identify with me. Also, the cute guys never respond back after I e-mail them.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Sorority Snob Suzie
I wrote an ad greatly exaggerating my college sorority experience while adding a hint of truth. I also had to do a little research to remember the proper jargon. Posted July 29, 2007.
The Ad
Former Sorostitute Seeks Former Frat Daddy
You know who you are. You and your brothers wore the pastel polo shirts with popped collars (circa 2004) at the popular campus bars while all the other non-frat guys (or GDIs) thought you were unoriginal tools. You attended TGs like G.I. Joes and Army Hoes or Secs and Execs. Maybe you play lacrosse or golf. You're definitely clean cut.
Anyway, a year ago, I moved down to Austin from some place up north. My current lifestyle placed me amongst the hippie and hipster crowds. Of course, they all think I'm weird. I sit there thinking, "You assume I'm weird, but you're the ones eating things like quinoa cookies and bulgur wheat every day." Needless to say, I'm neither vegan nor vegetarian, though I do eat bulgur wheat on occasion. Though it's awesome meeting, befriending, and hanging out with people so different than myself, it would be nice having some friends who were more like my former crowd. Basically, I feel like I do my part in keeping Austin weird by being normal according to Yankee standards.
I'm not your stereotypical blonde, ditzy, spoiled, wealthy, snobby sorority girl. I'm not even White. I attended college on a full scholarship because of my intellect. I have a fancy degree from a school with a top-five program for that degree. In college, I worked two part-time jobs in order to pay for sorority dues, exotic spring and summer break vacations, and my shopping habits. I did, however, rock the polo shirts (Ralph Lauren or Lacoste, of course), pearls, North Face jacket, white gold hoop earrings, Greek Week t-shirts, large-framed designer sunglasses, etc.
Despite how much of this sounds, I really have matured since college. Well, I no longer start partying on Wednesday nights (Liquid Dope Night AND Fishbowl Night!). I have a full-time job. I've embraced my intellectual side a bit more. I manage my finances better. I have all different kinds of friends. I'm more open-minded. I've adapted to Texas.
If interested, e-mail me to reminisce about old college days, make plans to meet up for coffee or beer, and/or find out how much of this was posted in jest. Just be over 23 and under 28 (I don't date men who are too much older). Please, no more tatted up musicians by night or hippies whose hair and facial hair make them resemble cartoon Jesuses. Now that I may have managed to insult half of Austin, I'll shut up.
The Responses
1. Oh damn girl. Just damn. Your post is just so poetic, it made me weep.
We are in the same boat. I just moved here a month ago or so. I graduated last year from a school up in the North and have not found anyone with the same style. I've met some awesome hippy/hipsters, but we're just too different. To be honest, it's not that we dont have shit loads in common, its just they cant get over the fact that i used to pop my collars (yes plural collars, i'm not sure which "Frats" you hung out with but they were for sure inadequate with their single collars). I might like the same movies, music, activities... but since I dress like a country club man whore then I'm automatically a player and weird...
2. lol... you sounds cool, but I'm both a tatted musician and have facial hair like a hippy :P
3. that was hilarious. I honey I am home. You go girl
4. Your post is too funny/intelligent/witty/sly//ironic/sarcastic/original for it not to be almost completely a joke - right? Except for the hippy/Jesus part…
5. you suck
why don't you move to Illinois or Arkansas, you'd fit in there a lot better
[Arkansas? Really? Why didn't he tell me to move to New England? That's where most of the preps are.]
6. Sorostitute....haha...I say that all the time. Your undergrad was in business wasn't it? Let me preface by apologizing profusely for grammar mistakes :) The polo look is deplorable...
7. Lol you did do a good job of insulting Austin, but that's okay because everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
8. ok whats up ??? I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight and hey I'd gladly give up celibacy to be with you haha so whts up what are you doing?
Lessons Learned
1. Some people get the satire!
2. There actually are preppy people in Austin!
3. I met one of the guys who answered this ad. I didn't realize he was married until a week or so after I met him. Shady.
4. Arkansas is preppy. It's the South's equivalent to Martha's Vineyard or something. Illinois is the Midwest's equivalent.
The Ad
Former Sorostitute Seeks Former Frat Daddy
You know who you are. You and your brothers wore the pastel polo shirts with popped collars (circa 2004) at the popular campus bars while all the other non-frat guys (or GDIs) thought you were unoriginal tools. You attended TGs like G.I. Joes and Army Hoes or Secs and Execs. Maybe you play lacrosse or golf. You're definitely clean cut.
Anyway, a year ago, I moved down to Austin from some place up north. My current lifestyle placed me amongst the hippie and hipster crowds. Of course, they all think I'm weird. I sit there thinking, "You assume I'm weird, but you're the ones eating things like quinoa cookies and bulgur wheat every day." Needless to say, I'm neither vegan nor vegetarian, though I do eat bulgur wheat on occasion. Though it's awesome meeting, befriending, and hanging out with people so different than myself, it would be nice having some friends who were more like my former crowd. Basically, I feel like I do my part in keeping Austin weird by being normal according to Yankee standards.
I'm not your stereotypical blonde, ditzy, spoiled, wealthy, snobby sorority girl. I'm not even White. I attended college on a full scholarship because of my intellect. I have a fancy degree from a school with a top-five program for that degree. In college, I worked two part-time jobs in order to pay for sorority dues, exotic spring and summer break vacations, and my shopping habits. I did, however, rock the polo shirts (Ralph Lauren or Lacoste, of course), pearls, North Face jacket, white gold hoop earrings, Greek Week t-shirts, large-framed designer sunglasses, etc.
Despite how much of this sounds, I really have matured since college. Well, I no longer start partying on Wednesday nights (Liquid Dope Night AND Fishbowl Night!). I have a full-time job. I've embraced my intellectual side a bit more. I manage my finances better. I have all different kinds of friends. I'm more open-minded. I've adapted to Texas.
If interested, e-mail me to reminisce about old college days, make plans to meet up for coffee or beer, and/or find out how much of this was posted in jest. Just be over 23 and under 28 (I don't date men who are too much older). Please, no more tatted up musicians by night or hippies whose hair and facial hair make them resemble cartoon Jesuses. Now that I may have managed to insult half of Austin, I'll shut up.
The Responses
1. Oh damn girl. Just damn. Your post is just so poetic, it made me weep.
We are in the same boat. I just moved here a month ago or so. I graduated last year from a school up in the North and have not found anyone with the same style. I've met some awesome hippy/hipsters, but we're just too different. To be honest, it's not that we dont have shit loads in common, its just they cant get over the fact that i used to pop my collars (yes plural collars, i'm not sure which "Frats" you hung out with but they were for sure inadequate with their single collars). I might like the same movies, music, activities... but since I dress like a country club man whore then I'm automatically a player and weird...
2. lol... you sounds cool, but I'm both a tatted musician and have facial hair like a hippy :P
3. that was hilarious. I honey I am home. You go girl
4. Your post is too funny/intelligent/witty/sly//ironic/sarcastic/original for it not to be almost completely a joke - right? Except for the hippy/Jesus part…
5. you suck
why don't you move to Illinois or Arkansas, you'd fit in there a lot better
[Arkansas? Really? Why didn't he tell me to move to New England? That's where most of the preps are.]
6. Sorostitute....haha...I say that all the time. Your undergrad was in business wasn't it? Let me preface by apologizing profusely for grammar mistakes :) The polo look is deplorable...
7. Lol you did do a good job of insulting Austin, but that's okay because everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
8. ok whats up ??? I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight and hey I'd gladly give up celibacy to be with you haha so whts up what are you doing?
Lessons Learned
1. Some people get the satire!
2. There actually are preppy people in Austin!
3. I met one of the guys who answered this ad. I didn't realize he was married until a week or so after I met him. Shady.
4. Arkansas is preppy. It's the South's equivalent to Martha's Vineyard or something. Illinois is the Midwest's equivalent.
Massimo: Old Guy Seeks Young Ass
I'm generally going to post ads that I've written and their responses, but I received the following response for several of my ads. It's worthy of its own post. My reaction: LOL, EWW!
The Response
Hello beautiful young girl . . .. i hope that every things is ok with you as is my pleasure to contact you after viewing your profile in craigslist which really interest me in having communication with you dear .??.
My name is Massimo and I'm Italian in Austin . 47yo , never been married and looking for princess to share all the wonderful things of life .. I'm very nice , successful , romantic , traveler , good sense of homer honest , naturally happy person and full of love and tenderness . I'm financially secure and i live in my condo on the hill with private pool . .. all I'm trying to say that I'm not looking for woman who take care of me .
I just broke up with my 21 yo girlfriend Amber . WHY.??. because she still dancing in sugar's ( gentleman club ) and I really do not like that she sit on man's leg every ten minute so we have lot's of pictures together and those are a newest pictures I have to e-mail you to see me . please do not pay attention to her picture . I took back BMW 740 il which I bought for her and now this car is free and ready for you to drive it .. serious ..
So if you are lonely and tired to pay bills and would you like to travel to Europe and around country , if you like to get new job and work few hours a day and dress up like super models and if you like beach and weekend trip , if you like to live as princess for the rest of life and never worry for tomorrow and future and if you like to see fashion show and have great time AND if you think difference ages is no matter to you and will not play a big rules in our future relationship and if sounds really good to you so please e-mail me at (*Deleted) with pictures and more details about yourself . I'm ready to open door to new world and new life for you and present to you happiness and love and I'm ready to make change your winter to spring so my dear I'm real and I'm ready to meet you soon and I would like to hear from you soon . I will e-mail you my pictures with next mail because there is no enough space to send you with this mail so my dear keep smiling and be happy .. .. . Thousands rosessssssss to you
Massimo
The Response
Hello beautiful young girl . . .. i hope that every things is ok with you as is my pleasure to contact you after viewing your profile in craigslist which really interest me in having communication with you dear .??.
My name is Massimo and I'm Italian in Austin . 47yo , never been married and looking for princess to share all the wonderful things of life .. I'm very nice , successful , romantic , traveler , good sense of homer honest , naturally happy person and full of love and tenderness . I'm financially secure and i live in my condo on the hill with private pool . .. all I'm trying to say that I'm not looking for woman who take care of me .
I just broke up with my 21 yo girlfriend Amber . WHY.??. because she still dancing in sugar's ( gentleman club ) and I really do not like that she sit on man's leg every ten minute so we have lot's of pictures together and those are a newest pictures I have to e-mail you to see me . please do not pay attention to her picture . I took back BMW 740 il which I bought for her and now this car is free and ready for you to drive it .. serious ..
So if you are lonely and tired to pay bills and would you like to travel to Europe and around country , if you like to get new job and work few hours a day and dress up like super models and if you like beach and weekend trip , if you like to live as princess for the rest of life and never worry for tomorrow and future and if you like to see fashion show and have great time AND if you think difference ages is no matter to you and will not play a big rules in our future relationship and if sounds really good to you so please e-mail me at (*Deleted) with pictures and more details about yourself . I'm ready to open door to new world and new life for you and present to you happiness and love and I'm ready to make change your winter to spring so my dear I'm real and I'm ready to meet you soon and I would like to hear from you soon . I will e-mail you my pictures with next mail because there is no enough space to send you with this mail so my dear keep smiling and be happy .. .. . Thousands rosessssssss to you
Massimo
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